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Personal Finance Mentoring - Integrating the practical and emotional elements of your money.

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A week of endings & graduations & the importance of spending Plans

Megan deBoer

You know when time feels surreal? When you wake up in the day you have anticipated for so long - perhaps with excitement, sadness, or dread. And then there it is. The Day.

Today I woke up and took my oldest daughter to school for the last day of her senior year. I have been preparing myself on many levels - but when it finally arrived, preparation seemed irrelevant. I found myself choking on tears as I turned the corner. I know logically it isn't any real end... she is still living with us, she will still come home this fall, and we leave for a 3 week trip to Europe together in just a couple weeks. But it is an ending.

I took her out for breakfast - something we rarely do. We talked about college, how she wants to approach it, what inspires her. It was dreamy in every way. The me of 10 years ago would have been anxious to spend money this way - fearing it would mean we couldn't buy a tank of gas. It is why I recently added a category in my own spending plan for 'one on one time with the girls'.

That may seem excessively detailed to you - but for me it is what this work is ultimately about: aligning your spending with your highest intention - and ensuring you have the money to spend without any harm. This isn't about being extravagant. It is about being intentional. Consciously guiding your money to what is most important to you.

It is these moments that remind me to stay present. To simply be. We hurry through so much. We worry about so much. I am getting that harsh reminder today - life is short. The time we spend with our loved ones is fleeting. What are you NOT doing today that you will regret a year from now? I am reminding myself to do it. Today. Not next month, not next year. But today. 

Your spending plan holds your intentions in physical form. It is powerful. What is held in your spending plan?

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Paying Taxes?

Megan deBoer

ReframeTaxes.PNG

I am writing checks for my own stack of tax payments. Perhaps you aren’t the procrastinator I am (but if you are, cheers!).

I also helped my daughter file her very first return this year. I explained all the parts - familiarizing her with all the pages, the lingo, and what she was paying for...

I am writing this for you - for her - ( for me….)

Taxes trigger “Loss Aversion Bias”. It is painful. We feel something is being taken from us. (and arguably, something is). 

There are two sides to everything, though - nothing is either good or bad. It is always degrees of both. 

And because there is always an energetic exchange with money, it is important to explore all sides - so that when you release the money (each paycheck or each quarter or each April) you do so with neutrality - even gratitude

(I know….but bear with me).

So let’s reframe taxes (and at least for this exercise, sidestep the current state of our country, it’s priorities, and the disparity in too many line items).

Because: Libraries. National Parks. (Mostly) Functional roads and bridges. Social Security. Education. Medicare… 

You can probably draw a short line between any of the above and your own life - these are the more obvious ones that we benefit from. (again, not saying that they are perfect… so…#sheshouldrun)

If you have ever traveled through a country whose main roads have potholes every few feet, you may have some appreciation for how much easier our lives are - and how much we may take for granted.

Your taxes help make these things possible - for you, and for our fellow citizens. If we weren’t contributing, who, exactly would be paying for these? Who would we WANT paying for these? I would rather I be a stakeholder in our democracy, because it does give us some power.

Privilege is tied to responsibility…and, sometimes that looks like paying taxes for the Collective.

So - see if you can find one or two things to be grateful for when you write your checks. Pretend 100% of it is going in that direction. Energetically you shift the energy you send it with. Maybe that does something to shift the political energy, maybe it doesn’t. But it will make your experience more pleasant, I promise.

If you are making promises to yourself that you “will never be in this situation again!” (dreading tax time, feeling disorganized, overwhelmed, head in the sand, shameful, or any other negative feelings about money) - Please reach out for support

It is my mission to make your whole experience with money more peaceful.

 

And with that, I am sending my own stack of envelopes to the collective community that we still are...

 

P.S. my FAVORITE app for guesstimating tax liability throughout the year is: TaxSlayer - free to download and check in on quarterly to avoid surprises

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How to be in Congruence with Prosperity

Megan deBoer

How to be in Congruence with Prosperity

 

Have you ever found yourself in a room filled with people who seem to have more money than you? You learn that the person you are talking to just moved into a new house (or insert any desired thing), while you feel stuck paying off your credit cards - though the balances are where they were last year. You feel a tidal wave of shame take over, followed by some pretty harsh self talk. 

What about the friend - or public figure - who talks about how making money is so fun and easy! You find yourself collapsing inside, wondering why it is so incredibly hard for you to just make ends meet! You have been stuck in the same place for years, and your envy of them is growing into an unflattering form of resentment.

Or the conversations where you feel superior - even if you may not want to admit it - because you are a better person than 'those people' who are making, or spending, a 'ridiculous' amount of money. You, at least, are on moral high ground (even if not financial high ground).

I have been in many versions of these conversations - on one side or the other. I have heard these conversations recited from hundreds of my clients. I see them play out in movies. We are all wrestling with our own internal conflicts about money. They are normal, but that doesn't make them desirable.

Because there is no peace with any of these states. 

We forget that true prosperity requires a congruent state - just like fear and love can't co-exist, prosperity can't exist when the following states are dominant:

When shame overtakes you - when you feel unworthy, incapable, not-enough, undeserving - there is nowhere for prosperity to co-exist.

When envy colors your perception, even subtly, a part of you has already given up - determining that you are powerless to experience this kind of ease and prosperity for yourself. So...you won't experience prosperity.

When you judge others for their prosperity, the hard truth is that you are judging a part of you that you don't want to see. Until there is acceptance of those same parts that you judge within yourself, prosperity won't rest in you.


If any of this resonates with you, I would encourage you to simply bring awareness to your interactions and reactions...

To when you feel agitated, shamed, envious, judge-y. See what is underneath them. See what they are telling you - about yourself. We all have these responses - and I believe they help us to grow, if we allow them to.

Then see if you can explore the other side: Being worthy, deserving, capable, enoughBeing powerful in your ability to create your realityBeing like all other humans who walk the earth - filled with choices that have us act in strange ways. How do you really feel about all of your choices? 

I'm not saying that the ball is exclusively in our court - there are very real external factors making the path exponentially harder, particularly for some. But there are pieces of this game that we can claim ownership - even mastery - of. It doesn't always require a financial investment - it is often a shift in perception that is the most significant. But sometimes a more deliberate decision to have support is necessary.

One option is to consider enrolling in my online course, Equipped to Thrive or to attend an upcoming Yoga & Prosperity Retreat.

This lovely Springtime weather is a wonderful opportunity to explore and experience the abundance and prosperity all around you - flowers emerging, blossoms bursting - it is a wonderful time to sink into the feelings of it all.

Happy (almost) Spring!

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Announcing Equipped to Thrive! An Online Course

Megan deBoer

Equipped to Thrive - Online Course

I have been waiting for this day for months - about 16 of them to be precise! Life has a way of unfolding organically, and I am learning to trust this and calm the part of me that quite honestly prefers The Plan. The straight line. And the checked-off-to-do-list. But trusting my process has brought to life something far greater than I had originally envisioned.

16 months ago I had blocked off time to record what would be an online version of the work I facilitate. My girls would be with their grandparents - I would have the entire week to focus on what I had already scripted to record.

But that morning was November 9th, 2016. The world felt upside down. As hard as I tried to resume, I couldn't. I made the difficult decision to wait. 3 months later I went on a solo retreat to the Oregon Coast. What I needed more than anything was the space to hear myself think. To listen to my heart. To understand what I was really trying to say and share through my work.

I walked in the forest and along the beach - the cold, fresh February air cleared my thoughts. The sun peaked between the clouds and pouring rain. This is the landscape I was raised in, and it filled my mind and heart in indescribably profound ways.  

And from that place, the clarity came.

My mission is to include people - particularly women - in a new conversation about money, wealth and prosperity - where money can be a medium for healing, collaboration, possibility, empowerment, abundance, generosity, prosperity, reciprocity, and even - love.  

Years ago, when I gave my business its name, Tended Wealth, I intentionally wanted to conjure up the idea of caring for our wealth in the same way we may tend to our garden, to our children, to our homes or our communities. I realized, on that weekend, that this is the conversation I want to have more directly. I want to use new images, new metaphors, and new ways for us to explore the medium of money. I feel we must shake money out of its old and worn associations for it to have new life. 

My new online course, Equipped to Thrive, explores the principles of building a solid financial foundation by using a metaphor of the garden - and elements in nature - to communicate how to be in a thriving relationship with our money: in both the practical realm as well as the emotional realm.

For too many people, money is the stumbling block preventing them from living their best life. Too many feel excluded. Intimidated. Overwhelmed. Disillusioned. Thwarted. Ignorant. Full of Shame. Stuck.  

I want to help many, many more people than just those I can work with 1:1 transform their own relationship with money so that they too transcend this barrier and find themselves on the other side.

I am delighted to invite you to take a look at this new baby of mine - one that asked me to slow down, listen, take time off to create, and now share with the world.  

I also want to invite you to listen to the quieter, slower voice that may be speaking to you now - about something that is equally important for you to hear about your own life and the next step that is just right for you.  

More than anything, I want to support you and provide a place for you to explore a new relationship with your money.

This is a conversation that has been steadily growing on the sidelines of our culture. I want to be another voice bringing it to the frontlines.  

Thank YOU for being a part of this growing conversation, and more importantly, this beautiful evolution of money.

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Yoga + Prosperity

Megan deBoer

Yoga & Prosperity

The more I work with clients, the more I recognize how much our bodies need to integrate prosperity.  

I have had clients get nauseous when we talk about a big leap - it might be asking for a raise, raising their fees, even having savings to begin experiencing financial security.  

I have had clients yawn, fidget, get up and pace, or even want to leave my office (thankfully they stay!). It isn't always physical - sometimes a client will unconsciously spend everything they had intended to save.  Or find other brilliantly creative ways to sabotage themselves - to stay safe.

This can happen at any income level, and usually shows up when we are nearing an expansion.

 

We want this leap - we know in our hearts it is the right direction, we know in our minds this is the next step.  

And yet - it is unconsciously terrifying.  It is activating our nervous system.  Our protection from danger.  We would rather remain safe in the discomfort of the known, then venture into the unknown.  

What might be your perceived 'danger'?  Well, the list of possibilities is a long.  Your answer will be very personal and it deserves exploration.  When you find it, your life will begin to change in subtle and profound ways. 

I am thrilled that almost a year after dreaming it up and designing a collaboration, Tanya Woods and I get to combine our individual gifts to help anchor prosperity deep within your body, mind, and spirit.  

Yoga teaches your body to relax, to open, to accept, to be willing - in spite of resistance.  The energy centers of our bodies are powerful, and it is by clearing and activating these channels that we begin working with our bodies - expanding to receive all that we are ready to receive, without hesitation or resistance.  

By working directly through the physical body, we tell our nervous system: the unfamiliar is not danger, it is delight.  

Yes, prosperity is delight. 

Join us for the first of many weekend workshop/retreats of 2018.  

The weekend will be filled with yoga, mediation, sound healing, exercises to illuminate where you are stuck, where you want to go, reflective journaling, and will help you clarify the direct actions that will ensure you meet your goals. 

January 26, 27, 28 - Portland, Oregon

*Tanya Woods pictured above

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Simple + Sweet Gift Giving

Megan deBoer

Simple + Sweet Gift Giving

Tis the season of giving gifts, no matter your tradition.  I am not sure if it is just my own evolution, or if there is a collective shift towards simplifying this aspect of the holiday season. I do know that it is refreshing.

Spending money on gifts made me extremely anxious years ago, in part because we didn't have much to spend, but more importantly because there was no plan and it felt out of control - for years now we have approached things from a completely different perspective.  I am relaxed, intentional, and enjoy giving gifts like this little boy in this ad from the UK.

You see, a little goes a really long way.  It is the spirit of the gift, more than the amount spent.

I love giving gifts that are some combination of utility + luxury. The everyday essentials kicked up a few notches - a daily reminder to enjoy the little things just a bit more, to find beauty in daily living.  This is an experience of wealth that can come well before you have millions in the bank.

Here are two excellent gift guides.  One for small children.  One for adults.  The focus is on simplicity, as well as affordability.  

If you are interested in more thoughts, here are some other posts I have written for this time of year:

Exploring Enough - How to manage the desperate panic right before the big day
Multiples - The easiest and most important math to memorize right now
Mindful Giving - How to give a gift that hits the mark (for you + them)

Giving is a delight - may you find sweet and simple gifts that are as fun to give as they are to receive!

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The 'Spending' Part of your Holiday

Megan deBoer

This time of year we are often pulled by our emotions and veer off our intended course.  Having a solid spending plan makes all the difference - and prevents a spending hang-over, or a credit card bill from surprising you in January.  

What is a spending plan?  Well - it is a map and a guide.  You make one before you set out so you don't get lost.

Your PLAN could have the following categories:

Decorations - Tree, Candles, Wreaths, Lights, etc.
Holiday Meals & Entertainment - pay particular attention if you are hosting, or attending lots of parties where you will bring wine or gifts for the host

Gifts - Write down the names of the people you give gifts to
Wrapping Supplies
Santa (if it applies)
Pet Gifts (I know... but for some people this adds up :-)
Charitable Giving
End of Year Tips (housecleaner, hairdresser, doorman, etc.)

Next to these categories you will put an amount you plan to spend.  The hardest part, and the part we often resist, is adding this up.  But it is so incredibly valuable, particularly if you haven't done it before.  You can course correct.  You can make choices that won't leave you with regret in January.  It just takes a little proactive planning.  

If you find your funds not quite stretching to cover as much as you want to cover, consider ALL the possibilities!  The possibilities could include: exploring creative solutions as well as lowering your expectations. As Erin Boyle states on her blog, "there’s no admission price to the holidays".  

You can be in the spirit of giving without sacrificing your own financial wellbeing.

Perhaps this is the best gift you can give anyone you love: your financial wellbeing.

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From Motherhood to Livelihood - Shaping your life to shine both ways...

Megan deBoer

From Motherhood to Livelihood - Shaping your life to shine both ways

I chose to have my children at the 'young' age of 24. It was motherhood that called to me before a career.  I was fortunate to be able to follow my desire to stay at home with my growing babies - and we made many financial sacrifices to make this a priority.  Yet I wasn't done growing and expanding myself.  I felt myself become restless within my mothering role, yet also experienced a very real inner conflict and tension about what that would mean for my family.  I was just as committed to my role of being a mother.

Along the path to this work I am currently engaged in, I struggled with the tension, the questioning, the doubt, the fear, and especially the financial pressure as I tried to 'figure it out!'  It felt lonely and overwhelming.  It was a common issue among my peers, but there was little guidance or the kind of support I was craving.  

Perhaps you - or someone close to you - have a different experience balancing motherhood and your work in the world.  None of our experiences are exactly the same, but they are similar and deserve the space and support to realize something that works in all ways.

We feel called to provide space for this evolution - with the guidance, support and healing that it deserves...Join us for a talk on May 2nd and a workshop series June 15th, 22nd, and 29th - (details here)


I am honored, and delighted, to be creating this supportive space  with Barb Robitaille.  She has a brilliance in helping you reconnect with your own wisdom, your own trust, and the truths that were too buried to know were even there.  She helps to heal the disconnect, and re-align you with your own heart.

I have supported many of my clients through their own version of this conflict from an earning perspective.  I know the triggers.  I know how this tension is reflected in your financial life.  I can spot and help guide you to the shortcuts - the ones I wish I had had - to find that heart centered balance of being both a mother and fulfilling the other parts of you that are ready to be expressed.

If this is speaking to you, honor that voice and that nudge.  This may be the next step that accelerates your journey to finding wealth - in all its forms.  If you know someone who may be interested, please feel free to share this with them.

Registration details can be found here on my website. 

Even if this doesn't personally relate to your life circumstance, I do think it is something that we as a culture can hold in conversation providing a supportive space for all the mothers (and fathers) finding their way in this new cultural era.

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